Video video games often hand you flashy powers and badass perks to make you are feeling like a god amongst NPCs. However generally, both by chance or with a wink from the builders, you’re handed an “capacity” that’s so spectacularly pointless you’ll marvel if it was designed purely to make you endure. Listed here are ten of the worst offenders—abilities, perks, and upgrades so hilariously ineffective that spending factors on them ought to include a warning label.
After all, this record is solely for enjoyable, and a few individuals have managed to seek out intriguing and loopy makes use of for among the entries.
1. Encourage – Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
Neglect buffs or harm bonuses—Good-looking Jack’s “Encourage” talent is simply him yelling vaguely encouraging nonsense at you. When activated, he bellows issues like “You are able to do it!” whereas a glittery “Impressed!” splashes throughout the display screen like a foul motivational meme. And should you die? He mocks you with “Disillusioned,” full with falling tears. Functionally ineffective, it does completely nothing. It’s a joke capacity—actually. And should you spent some extent on it… congrats, you’ve been Good-looking Jack’d.
2. Graug Hunter – Center-Earth: Shadow of Mordor
Whereas Good-looking Jack’s jokey capacity was by design, this subsequent one is because of stupidity. This talent enables you to tame and experience large Graugs—epic, proper? Besides should you’re enjoying on PS3 or Xbox 360, Graugs are rarer than Gollum’s moments of sanity. They have been minimize nearly fully as a result of {hardware} limitations, however the talent nonetheless exhibits up in your tree like some merciless joke. So should you adopted a information meant for newer consoles, you have been in for a impolite, Graug-less awakening. In complete, solely three Graugs exist within the PS3 and Xbox 360 variations of the sport, and so they solely pop up in missions. There are zero to be present in free-roam. As such, all of the Graug-based Achievements/Trophies have been eliminated. However not the talent itself.
3. In Shining Armor – Fallout: New Vegas – Useless Cash DLC
On paper, this perk appears like a satisfactory use for a talent level: bonus harm resistance from power weapons whereas sporting steel armour and sun shades. Very “post-apocalyptic stylish.” Sadly, it’s fully damaged. Because of a coding oversight, the perk seems for a nonexistent “power” harm sort, that means it by no means prompts. It’s the equal of placing sun shades in your hopes and goals—cool-looking, however finally pointless.
The perk was by no means formally mounted, however unofficially, some mods type out the issue.
4. Commando – Cyberpunk 2077 (Eliminated)
This stealth perk allow you to stay undetected underwater. Helpful, if Cyberpunk had significant underwater content material. It doesn’t. There’s one mission the place it’s a must to swim, and it has no enemies. Exterior of that, our bodies of water are tough to seek out, most likely due to the entire cyberpunk metropolis vibe. CD Projekt Crimson ultimately patched it out fully in replace 1.5, changing it with Look Sharp, a perk that blinded enemies once they have been hit with a throwing knife within the face. Nobody seen Commando had vanished. Or cared.
As for the Trying Sharp perk that changed Commando, I’d argue that being blinded by a knife to the face is one thing that type of occurs no matter whether or not there’s a perk concerned.
5. Velocity Demon – Undertaking Zomboid
Need to drive quick through the zombie apocalypse? Velocity Demon’s your perk… should you like wrapping your automotive round a tree. Quicker driving in Undertaking Zomboid often simply means sooner dying. The sport’s janky physics, slim roads, and gradual zombies make velocity pointless and harmful. With Velocity Demon outfitted, by the point a nook seems it’s already too late to brake, and too late to kiss your ass goodbye. Any time you saved by travelling on the velocity of sound was negated by the fixed crashing.
6. Right here and Now – Fallout Sequence
This perk exhibits up throughout a number of Fallout video games, providing one free degree immediately. Sounds tempting—till you realise XP is limitless, whereas perk slots aren’t. You’re principally buying and selling a uncommon, finite improve slot for one thing you’d get anyway simply by enjoying. Even the sport itself tries to warn you by locking this perk behind early-level necessities, which is the perk equal of the devs muttering “Don’t do it, man.”
Enjoyable reality: in Fallout: New Vegas, the Right here and Now perk may be much more ineffective! How? As a result of should you get the talent trait at the beginning of the sport which reduces XP by 10%, Right here and Now gives you 90% of the XP required to degree up. So it doesn’t even do the one factor it’s purported to do. Neat!
7. Swimming Talent – Deus Ex (and associates)
Hey, look! It’s one other water-based talent! The OG “why is that this even right here?” talent, in truth. In Deus Ex, upgrading swimming enables you to keep underwater longer and swim sooner—which might be nice if the sport had greater than, like, two underwater sections. You’re higher off holding your breath and working by way of the water with no upgrades in any respect, or simply grabbing a rebreather.
Honourable point out goes to video games like Two Worlds, the place you may spend factors to put on armour whereas swimming… regardless that drowning isn’t a factor and there are not any enemies within the water. Critically. Technically, this might have been entry quantity 8, however I didn’t need to put 3 water-based perks in a single record.
8. Artful – LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga
The Scavenger class’s “Artful” perk enables you to… give your instruments a contemporary coat of paint. That’s it. No stat increase, no bonus skills—simply aesthetics. In a recreation the place Kyber Bricks are invaluable and upgrades matter, blowing them on a glorified spray paint can feels just like the Jedi equal of buying and selling Grasp standing for a nicer gown.
9. Big’s Knife – The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Not a talent, however it deserves a spot right here for sheer scamminess. For 200 rupees, you should purchase the Big’s Knife, which has double the ability of the Grasp Sword—till it snaps like a breadstick after 4 hits. You’ll be able to hold repairing it (for an additional 200 rupees) or simply cry into your empty pockets. Ultimately, you may get the Biggoron’s Sword, which is equivalent however unbreakable… without spending a dime. Nintendo performed you want a Deku flute.
10. Rhythm Dodge Pull Cancel – Hello-Fi Rush
This one’s a straight-up prank by the devs. Late within the recreation, a facet character provides an “improve” that sounds vaguely helpful, however really nerfs your character when outfitted. Better of all, it’s defined in-game as one of many lead character’s associates checking to see if he really reads issues earlier than shopping for them.
There’s no reward, no achievement—simply the quiet disgrace of realising you didn’t learn the merchandise description earlier than smacking the purchase button like a chimpanzee that’s simply found Uber Eats. What a wonderful, superior recreation.
Honorable Mentions:
- Goldeen – Tremendous Smash Bros.: Pops out of a Pokéball, flops uselessly, leaves. Not technically a talent or perk or capacity, however hilarious nonetheless.
- Wood Protect – Bloodborne: Exists to remind you that protection is for cowards.
- Punch By means of Partitions – Deus Ex: Human Revolution: Spends Praxis Factors to do what a grenade or wall panel already does. However didn’t make it onto the record as a result of punching by way of partitions is badass.
- Water Respiration – The Elder Scrolls Sequence: Helpful for Argonians. For everybody else? You’ll hardly ever want it—and even if you do, a potion or enchantment works simply as nicely.
Whether or not they’re inside jokes from the dev staff or simply victims of dangerous design, these abilities all share one factor in frequent: they’re fully, gloriously, hilariously ineffective. So subsequent time you’re constructing your character, take a second to learn the high quality print. Or don’t—and luxuriate in Good-looking Jack’s shit makes an attempt at inspiring you when you bleed out on the ground.
